Tuesday 9 July 2013

The Exotic World of the Liar ; The Compulsive versus The Pathological Liar

Everyone has told a lie and everybody will continue to do so in moderation throughout their lives.
In moderation.
For most people,the need to fabricate is not an issue but a mere vocabulatory stumble every now and again to slightly embellish a story, to cover one's back or cover one's tracks.
Once in a while,we have the misfortune of crossing paths with a being whom at first we might admire for having a silver tongue, and rather exciting life experiences. But eventually an inkling of reality dawns on us -this person is a liar.
The odd story of his ex-wife cheating on him thirteen times got everyone to pity him. 'But don't feel bad', he rushed on ,' in the end I got a date with (famous movie star),and we have been happily married for 3 years.' His trail of stories were suspicious, especially after he touted that he is the love child of Jane Mansfield and Frank Sinatra. As a youth he remembered Sinatra arranging him marvelous birthday bashes scattered with baby elephants,exotic carnivorous plants and champagne squirting from the water fountains. Once,as a child he took his ball out to play in the backyard and found a drunk Marilyn Monroe crying on his father's lap. " Oh, I didn't see you there honey," the words escaped from her red painted mouth rather shamefully,he remembered .The former admiration of his captivated audiences turned to ridicule and whispers behind his back. Does this person believe his own lies? Does he snicker behind our backs as we laugh behind his? Or perhaps this person needs to lie and clock in as many outrageous lies in a day to fulfill some perverse compulsion.
If one steps away from being a simple 'audience member' to the liar and begins analyzing the situation, one must conclude that not all liars have the same foundation in terms of pathology. That is, there are different subtypes of liars.

Some who lie do so out of desperate necessity but otherwise would not be considered chronic liars if not for their circumstances. For instance,a drug addict may lie incessantly about his whereabouts and actions to his family and friends,and a pathological gambler may lie to his family about all the bank accounts he has sucked dry. If these individuals were not under the strain of such circumstances, their lying would be reduced into normal proportions  Others are not so lucky;


The Compulsive Liar- When I am not enough,a lie emerges


A compulsive liar fabricates stories big and small. He lies because he cannot face reality in other terms, and his lies act as a lifeboat in which he clings to. With little self esteem he has learned from a young age that lying elevates him in ways he cannot elevate himself and this rather pathetic truth lends him to feeling guilt and shame. Compulsive liars do not wish to hurt others with their fabrications but cannot face the feelings of inferiority or the habitual norm of saying the bleak outright truth. The truth is bent rather compulsively and reaches undeniable proportions when the liar faces life stressors. These liars are otherwise empathic individuals and may function normally in society,despite for their uncontrollable need to lie.


The Pathological Liar- I lie to 'get one over on you'


The pathological liar is not as benign as his Compulsive counterpart. His lies are designed to have an effect on the listener,if not to entertain or impress- then to persuade. Their lies come easily and tailored to the situation,and thus an expert habit is developed and honed from an early childhood age. The pathological liar is so skilled and familiar with lying that he will eerily be uncertain if the lie actually happened or if it is his fabrication.The pathological liar's verbal fantasy might sometimes sound believable , sometimes outrageous and laughable or at times without aim but underneath the lie is the intent to manipulate.Pathological lying is a sign of serious mental illness and personalities tied to the latter are usually those with personality disorders such as Antisocial personality disorder,Psychopathy and Narcissistic Personality Disorder. For these cold and self oriented individuals-namely the first two, stealing, aggression and other harmful acts of violating others is normally coupled with the lying. 




To further put a spotlight on the most ruthless and skilled liar is that of the Psychopathic liar. Here lies the psychology of the prototypical conman. Unable to bond,or develop feelings of compassion ,love,empathy,shame or guilt the psychopath has adequate tools in his arsenal and lying is a mere result in the latter deficits. His interactions with others cannot be sparked by a need to nurture and build an attachment,so they must only aim to garnish as many shallow and hedonistic needs as possible. Thus, the psychopath takes typically through stealing and other illegal acts of crime or/and interpersonal and emotional theft,in which deception and lies are are employed with heartless strategy and skill.

The consequences of lying is the person's loss of credibility and subsequently this destructive habit leads to the liar losing everybody's trust and relationships falling apart.Another consequence is the damaging effects on the feelings of others when faces with evaluating and sorting what was real or false in the relationship with the lying individual. Much research still has to be done on the topic, as psychologists are only beginning to unearth the aspects of compulsive versus pathological lying.


Below is the link to criminal and pathological liar John Schmidt during his stint in jail. He was dubbed Mr. Bullschidt
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33OraHcicNA

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