tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24892701065141538412024-03-05T03:36:54.585-08:00Pop Psych and Baby DeviantsLilacGrace-TheNihilisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09975169238212872392noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2489270106514153841.post-755684866242329202013-08-11T20:18:00.001-07:002013-08-11T20:18:07.422-07:00Quote of The Day <span style="background-color: white;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><span style="color: #181818; font-family: georgia, serif;"><i>“People hardly ever make use of the freedom which they have, for example, freedom of thought; instead they demand freedom of speech as compensation.”</i></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">-Soren Kierkenegaard</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span>LilacGrace-TheNihilisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09975169238212872392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2489270106514153841.post-50574370174459412762013-07-09T18:54:00.002-07:002013-07-09T18:59:34.455-07:00The Exotic World of the Liar ; The Compulsive versus The Pathological Liar<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN8EbNlglBSXiNFEX46aep3PIEHz4-69DRPRltk-tmiSFPbfYIKTszC0yXCn8GpwGEaEXL3NFsTmrBEpZVZdRPqorQlA8AgjwnF9rlX5sfABNlH9ERrFja31ZVlZjn-sVplno7bv4ZmOcX/s1600/predatory-stare.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN8EbNlglBSXiNFEX46aep3PIEHz4-69DRPRltk-tmiSFPbfYIKTszC0yXCn8GpwGEaEXL3NFsTmrBEpZVZdRPqorQlA8AgjwnF9rlX5sfABNlH9ERrFja31ZVlZjn-sVplno7bv4ZmOcX/s400/predatory-stare.jpg" width="298" /></a><span style="font-family: inherit;">Everyone has told a lie and everybody will continue to do so in moderation throughout their lives.</span><br />
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">In moderation.</span></i><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">For most people,the need to fabricate is not an issue but a mere vocabulatory stumble every now and again to slightly embellish a story, to cover one's back or cover one's tracks.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Once in a while,we have the misfortune of crossing paths with a being whom at first we might admire for having a silver tongue, and rather exciting life experiences. But eventually an inkling of reality dawns on us -this person is a <i>liar</i>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The odd story of his ex-wife cheating on him thirteen times got everyone to pity him. 'But don't feel bad', he rushed on ,' in the end I got a date with (famous movie star),and we have been happily married for 3 years.' His trail of stories were suspicious, especially after he touted that he is the love child of Jane Mansfield and Frank Sinatra. As a youth he remembered Sinatra arranging him marvelous birthday bashes scattered with baby elephants,exotic carnivorous plants and champagne squirting from the water fountains. Once,as a child he took his ball out to play in the backyard and found a drunk Marilyn Monroe crying on his father's lap. " Oh, I didn't see you there honey," the words escaped from her red painted mouth rather shamefully,he remembered .The former admiration of his captivated audiences turned to ridicule and whispers behind his back. Does this person believe his own lies? Does he snicker behind our backs as we laugh behind his? Or perhaps this person needs to lie and clock in as many outrageous lies in a day to fulfill some perverse compulsion.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">If one steps away from being a simple 'audience member' to the liar and begins analyzing the situation, one must conclude that not all liars have the same foundation in terms of pathology. That is, there are different subtypes of liars.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Some who lie do so out of desperate </span>necessity<span style="font-family: inherit;"> but otherwise would not be considered chronic liars if not for their circumstances. For instance,a drug addict may lie </span>incessantly<span style="font-family: inherit;"> about his </span>whereabouts<span style="font-family: inherit;"> and actions to his family and friends,and a pathological gambler may lie to his family about all the bank accounts he has sucked dry. If these individuals were not under the strain of such circumstances, their lying would be reduced into normal </span>proportions<span style="font-family: inherit;"> Others are not so lucky;</span><br />
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<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">The Compulsive Liar- When I am not enough,a lie emerges</span></h4>
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A compulsive liar fabricates stories big and small. He lies because he cannot face reality in other terms, and his lies act as a lifeboat in which he clings to. With little self esteem he has learned from a young age that lying elevates him in ways he cannot elevate himself and this rather pathetic truth lends him to feeling guilt and shame. Compulsive liars do not wish to hurt others with their fabrications but cannot face the feelings of inferiority or the habitual norm of saying the bleak outright truth. The truth is bent rather compulsively and reaches undeniable proportions when the liar faces life stressors. These liars are otherwise empathic individuals and may function normally in society,despite for their uncontrollable need to lie.</div>
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<span style="color: #d5a6bd;">The Pathological Liar- I lie to 'get one over on you'</span></h4>
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The pathological liar is not as benign as his Compulsive counterpart. His lies are designed to have an effect on the listener,if not to entertain or impress- then to persuade. Their lies come easily and tailored to the situation,and thus an expert habit is developed and honed from an early childhood age. The pathological liar is so skilled and familiar with lying that he will eerily be uncertain if the lie actually happened or if it is his fabrication.The pathological liar's verbal fantasy might sometimes sound believable , sometimes outrageous and laughable or at times without aim but underneath the lie is the intent to manipulate.Pathological lying is a sign of serious mental illness and personalities tied to the latter are usually those with personality disorders such as Antisocial personality disorder,Psychopathy and Narcissistic Personality Disorder. For these cold and self oriented individuals-namely the first two, stealing, aggression and other harmful acts of violating others is normally coupled with the lying. </div>
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To further put a spotlight on the most ruthless and skilled liar is that of the Psychopathic liar. Here lies the psychology of the prototypical conman. Unable to bond,or develop feelings of compassion ,love,empathy,shame or guilt the psychopath has adequate tools in his arsenal and lying is a mere result in the latter deficits. His interactions with others cannot be sparked by a need to nurture and build an attachment,so they must only aim to garnish as many shallow and hedonistic needs as possible. Thus, the psychopath takes typically through stealing and other illegal acts of crime or/and interpersonal and emotional theft,in which deception and lies are are employed with heartless strategy and skill.</div>
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The consequences of lying is the person's loss of credibility and subsequently this destructive habit leads to the liar losing everybody's trust and relationships falling apart.Another consequence is the damaging effects on the feelings of others when faces with evaluating and sorting what was real or false in the relationship with the lying individual. Much research still has to be done on the topic, as psychologists are only beginning to unearth the aspects of compulsive versus pathological lying.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Below is the link to criminal and pathological liar John Schmidt during his stint in jail. He was dubbed Mr. Bullschidt</span><br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33OraHcicNA">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33OraHcicNA</a>LilacGrace-TheNihilisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09975169238212872392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2489270106514153841.post-39325019368020637092013-07-09T16:17:00.000-07:002013-07-09T16:17:57.355-07:00Quote of The Day<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<em>"What you are is God's gift to you,what you do with yourself is your gift to God."</em></blockquote>
-Danish Proverb<br />
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LilacGrace-TheNihilisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09975169238212872392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2489270106514153841.post-6650280115877773202013-07-08T20:41:00.000-07:002013-07-08T20:41:55.899-07:00Cognitive Distortions ; When Thinking Becomes Either Black or White<span style="font-size: x-large;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">C</span>ognitive distortions are by definition one's distorted perceptions of reality.<br />
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To add some pulp and illustration to the vapid definition, one could take into account some examples.<br />
A sex offender who vehemently adhers to the mistaken belief that the act of rape on a woman is justified because 'women love to be treated rough', or some women justifying a spouse's abusive behaviour and rationalizing that <em>he is not fundamentally violent but in need for love and guidance</em> - are all fruits of one or more distortions of reality.<br />
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Dichotomous thinking</h3>
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A common cognitive distortion is Black and White or Dichotomous thinking.It is an extreme all-or-nothing mental conception which some employ when approaching situations , events and other individuals.<br />
A healthy individul with a rightly cultivated state of mind and mature perceptions of reality should be able to integrate all negative and positive aspects of individuals and events.<br />
A coordinated personality with healthy and developed defense mechanisms sees shades of grey. Such is able to positivly oversee threats to his ego ,and is able to form mental compromisations.<br />
Those who adhere to the rigidness of Dichotomous thinking can only relate to or judge circumstances based on primitive and extreme generalizations.<br />
One's husband is not necesarily prepping his wife for an impending divorce if he is working overtime most nights and a minor tiff with a close friend should not be met by total denounciation and cessation of all further apointments ,brunches or diner dates.<br />
Many individuals can fall victim to this cognitive distortion,but when it is applied consistantly and severly in one`s everyday life,it may be pathological and a symptom of a personality disorder.<br />
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Dichotomous thinking in relation to Personality Disorders</h3>
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A personality disorder effects perception and cognition ,impairs judgement, causes interpersonal problems as well as emotional problems to the afflicted and to those who cross paths with them. There are 3 clusters of disorders related to one`s character and notably 'Cluster B' are those who would make use of interpersonal Dichotomous thinking the most. Those disgnosed by legend of Cluster B are carefully named the 'dramatic-erratic' grouping, as they struggle to relate to others and additionally struggle to keep impulsive behaviours in check.The personality disorders in this cluster are ; Antisocial Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder,Histrionic Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder.<br />
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Borderline Personality Disorder</h4>
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It goes without saying that the most infamous personality disorder is Borderline Personality Disorder. The media has turned this illness into one that is both glamourised and demonized by the media and <br />
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by cinematography . Due to the Borderline`s impulsive and dramatically destructive nature it is admittedly fitting when displayed in Hollywood projectories.<br />
Not only is Black and White thinking a suggestive consequence of living with a character dysfunction but for Borderline personality disorder specifically it is it a main diagnostic criteria.<br />
Borderlines use interpersonal Dichotomous thinking as a central defense mechanism to regulate self esteem. When a close friend fails to keep an appointment or return a phone call, the afflicted will assume the worst and will not be able to integrate other factors into the circumstance. Fear and over sensitivity to threat are big factors in Dichotomous thinking as the Borderline cannot handle any personal pain and will be prompt when erradicating the source of displeasure. He is unwilling to gamble with such an emotional Russian Roulette and would rather dissociate and recline into the comfort of rejecting the other. The 'offending' other is devalued and seen as `bad` or as a threat , and thus the relationship is ended to ward off dissapointment. Not surprisingly, interpersonal conflicts are another troubling criteria in the Borderline checklist .<br />
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Those who suffer from Narcisstic Personality Disorder are also no stranger to distorted thinking. While inflating their own self image, their notion of emotional survival is based on the precarious view that they are superior and others are menial,ordinary or below them. Narcissists must induldge in actions which promote the belief that they themselves are most worthy,and any evidence that indicates that they are parallel or inferior to others launches them into exagerrated forms of self <br />
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shaming and self hate.The adult Narcissist is reminiscent of each one of us as a child, we expected to be cattered to and we were self perceived as the sun in which our parent`s lives orbited. We judged those who slighted us as `monsters`, and those who came to us ladden with gifts,treats and affection as a positive figures-dependable and trustworthy. Our childhood imaginations did not stretch beyond what we did not know and what we did not care to suspect; those we considered monsters might have had a bad day and those who bestowed us with gifts and compliments might have to our better knowledge been sexual perverts. Like the Borderline,the Narcissist`s ego-driven universe would be much more stable,harmonised and realistic if their perceptions and patterns of thinking were less dramatic.<br />
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Including the coquettish Histrionic and brash Antisocial personalities,all four disordered subtypes follow a certain pattern of relating to family,friends,lovers and peers. The closer the bond or attachments ,the more intense and pathological the defense mechanism.<br />
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Idealization and Devaluation</h3>
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Idealization and Devaluation is a product of Black and White thinking when applied in the interpersonal sense. The `Cluster B` troup are extreme thinkers as we have established,and when one is lowering their boundries in attempt to bond and trust another,there is too much to lose for an already disordered individual. A method of defense will certainly be inaugerated-even if it is dysfunctional and detrimental in the end,the goal is instant self preservation. For many suffering with personality disorders, planning for the long term and anticipating consequences is simply not part of their mental processing.<br />
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When someone is being idealized, the disordered person sees them in an overall positive manner,a savior and someone which to channel their dreams and unrealistic fantasies. Flaws are overlooked at first,which is unrealistic.<br />
Along the way the disordered individual must realise the truth;the person that they have bestowed to a knighthood is failing them. As dissapointment creeps about and reality becomes clear one is forced to see that the intimate is human and perhaps does not have the capacity to fulfill their every dream and ever changing whims.<br />
Instead of accepting the realization and still having the tools to persue the relationship after the `honeymoon phase` wears off, the disordered individual usually responds to this by hurting the other,villainizing the other for distroying his chance at happiness,or walking away from the relationship and repressing or dimishing any ties to the former intimate.<br />
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To wrap up;<br />
Black and White thinking causes conflict and impairment in relationships,it is not a flexible mental framework as it is established in early stages of child development.<br />
Thus ,Black and White thinking is characteristic of children,but early childhood events which are traumatic or somehow instigators in altering a child`s state of mind or `christalizing it`may lead to problematic coping mechanisms in adults.LilacGrace-TheNihilisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09975169238212872392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2489270106514153841.post-88461627085981625142013-07-08T19:55:00.000-07:002013-07-08T20:46:10.170-07:00Quote of The Day"<em>It is only when we no longer compulsively need someone that we can have a real relationship with them</em>."<br />
<cite>~ Anthony Storr<br />
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<br />LilacGrace-TheNihilisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09975169238212872392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2489270106514153841.post-2354197706915144542013-07-03T17:51:00.000-07:002013-07-08T20:42:45.489-07:00Quote of The Day <blockquote class="tr_bq">
"<em>The difference between genius and stupidity is ; genius has its limits</em>"</blockquote>
-Albert Einstein<br />
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LilacGrace-TheNihilisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09975169238212872392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2489270106514153841.post-8094599336625390732013-06-04T08:09:00.000-07:002013-06-04T08:22:42.506-07:00Quote of The Day <span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: x-large;">"</span><em>I refuse to tip-toe through life,only to arrive safely at death.</em> <span style="color: #f9cb9c; font-size: x-large;">"</span><br />
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LilacGrace-TheNihilisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09975169238212872392noreply@blogger.com0Québec, Canada52.9399159 -73.549136133.4658539 -114.8577301 72.4139779 -32.2405421tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2489270106514153841.post-49828578656654640572013-05-25T15:57:00.002-07:002013-06-04T08:25:14.118-07:00Quote Of The Day<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="color: #f9cb9c; line-height: 18px;"><i><span style="font-size: x-large;">" </span>The Statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay , then its you.<span style="font-size: x-large;">"</span></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: sans-serif;"><span style="color: #f9cb9c; line-height: 18px;">-Rita May Brown</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #003333; font-family: sans-serif; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>LilacGrace-TheNihilisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09975169238212872392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2489270106514153841.post-10246372834160768432013-05-24T17:32:00.000-07:002013-06-04T08:26:58.565-07:00Quote Of The Day<span style="color: #f9cb9c;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">"</span><i>Sanity is a little box...The world of madness is as wide as the universe</i><span style="font-size: x-large;"><i> </i>"</span> - Charles Manson</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>LilacGrace-TheNihilisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09975169238212872392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2489270106514153841.post-50607370760885508292013-05-24T16:44:00.000-07:002013-06-04T08:30:08.434-07:00And Now, Presenting Hollywood's Take on Mental Illness . . .A recent headlining story in the celebrity realm spurred me to speculate the media's portrayals of what is <i>normal </i>versus what is <i>dysfunction</i>.<br />
Last night,the bright eyed child star of the 90's Amanda Bynes was handcuffed, brought to your local psych ward to be evaluated, and then proceeded to the next stop ; the local jailhouse.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Amanda Bynes Mugshot picture after her DUI</i></td></tr>
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I'm sure this is not what Amanda meant when she said she wanted to have an 'exciting night out'.<br />
Some would say , <i>'We saw this coming'</i> after a string of bizarre events that Amanda has reportedly found herself in lately.<br />
But after reading the reportedly 'bizarre behavior', I asked myself honestly ; when does behavior become so <i>out of the norm</i> that it is deemed 'disordered'?<br />
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In Amanda's case,she is a 27 year old woman with enough money in the bank that one would hope to win in the upcoming lottery , hence , her perception of responsibilities and priorities are not the same as the average member of society's.<br />
Additionally,when reading about the events and actions that were accounted for as 'bizarre', I realized that for the upcoming generation of teens and young adults these actions are in fact quite common.<br />
Some actions that led to an inquisition on Amanda's mental health status were ; smoking marijuana, taking pictures of herself in various degrees of undress, showing off new piercings and collecting a small collection of DUIs.<br />
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The columnist must have had her daughters raised in a convent if the said behaviors were perceived as outlandish!<br />
Silly press,<br />
The truth is that many of these actions are the usual Friday night for young women and girls across America, to utter a 'nay' at such an opinion would warrant one to consider<br />
that they might be naive or operating with blinders on.<br />
As for Amanda posing with her breasts jammed into a push-up bra and posting the tacky deed on an online forum, it might be provocative but so is our standards for the average celebrity.<br />
Hollywood is the land of the Playboy Mansion in which reside women with breasts the size of car bumpers , and other generally exaggerated states of being ... so why is such behavior being added up as <i>ill </i>when isolated in the case of one woman? Perhaps you have forgotten to account for the entire ill society?<br />
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Twitter,Tumblr and Facebook are swollen with provocative imagery from young women who post pictures of themselves while attempting their best Rhiannas.<br />
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Of course, if push-up bras on twitter and smoking marijuana from a bong- then driving the family Sedan home afterwards are decent behaviors from young adults,the answer would be no! But I wouldn't venture to call them particularly devious and disordered, or behavior reserved for women with felonies.<br />
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Another story that seemed on the cusp of exaggeration by the press was Amanda's outing at her local gym. Amanda was in a cycling class when she decided to hop off her machine, waltz over to the mirrors and touch up her makeup for a whole dozen minutes.<br />
Coined as outlandish and reportedly proof that this young woman is in a downward descent into madness, the magazine fails to outline that perhaps Amanda does not feel the urge to commit to the class because she can afford it, and for her it is a mere pastime and not a commitment. Or perhaps the class did not suit her expectations, at the very least maybe Amanda needed some attention? She does not have the average person's sense of responsibility and priorities , if she spends money on a class she is not dedicated to it wont scorn her budget, partying and smoking marijuana will not get her immediately fired if she is a no-show at the assembly line the next morning. Amanda 's family will not go hungry if she chooses hedonistic activities over priorities and work. Secondly, one must obviously consider the gaggle of paparazzi outside the gym who are clocking her and waiting to take her picture. Hell, eight out of ten girls would be powdering their noses in front of those mirrors as well if a group of ten men with high resolution cameras were waiting for them in the parking lot. Can one blame Amanda for not fully concentrating on her Spinning Class?<br />
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And let us consider for a moment the possibility that Amanda was indeed mentally ill ,what role would we be playing by constantly taunting her and publishing articles dubbing her 'mentally ill'?<br />
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<span style="color: orange;"><i><strike>Hollywood ; The Western Holy Land</strike></i></span></h4>
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<i>Hollywood</i> is the land of often botched attempts at creating a simulated empire of perfection. The Hollywood society is overexcited with the idea they are the debauched elite of this Western Holy Land, and they are continuously obsessed with symbols that represent this ; the glamour , festivities, beauty, fashion ect..<br />
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Survival of the Fittest theory dictates that the weak will perish , even Hollywood abides by this law.<br />
Hollywood subsequently shames and dehumanizes those members which fall short of the 'elite' status.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Credit :<a class="irc_hol irc_itl" data-ved="0CAQQjB0" href="https://www.google.ca/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&docid=nXp3v-E-15XdbM&tbnid=VR1j4xsQyWTliM:&ved=0CAQQjB0&url=http%3A%2F%2Fbritneyspearsgifs.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F12107885060&ei=2_mfUb7PDtfh4AOUjYDgDg&bvm=bv.47008514,d.eWU&psig=AFQjCNFpsIDvgk-oufmR2YdmDNVtkyGZzg&ust=1369524939513343" style="background-color: #222222; color: #1122cc; cursor: pointer; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; white-space: nowrap;"><span class="irc_ho" style="color: white; margin-right: -2px; padding-right: 2px; text-decoration: underline;">britneyspearsgifs.tumblr.com</span></a><span class="irc_dim" style="background-color: #222222; color: #7d7d7d; font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px; text-align: left; white-space: nowrap;"> </span></td></tr>
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It is as if those not glamorous enough or those who fail to meet the standards of Hollywood are seen as misrepresenting the pack.<br />
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What happens to them is the systematic shaming and assault on their integrity. We love to watch them fail and pick them apart, relishing the idea that they are 'imperfect' in the valley of perfection.<br />
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Contemporary victims of Hollywood shaming are Britney Spears,Lindsay Lohan,Christian Bale, Catherine Zeta Jones.<br />
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And now Amanda Bynes.<br />
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I am not trying to push the idea that Amanda is ever knowing and flawless in her actions but the press jumping on this celebrity mental illness campaign and magnifying this woman's every 'wrong move' is in part driven by their capitalist thirst, all the while throwing this individual under the bus.<br />
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Like all of us, Amanda might be going through hard times but since when are hard times a call for everyone to shout from the rooftops that you are suffering from a severe bout of mental illness. Like someone wise once said , "The only time you should be looking down on someone, is when you are helping them up."<br />
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<br />LilacGrace-TheNihilisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09975169238212872392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2489270106514153841.post-17385900092263742482013-05-23T11:18:00.002-07:002013-05-23T11:18:39.779-07:00Quote of The Day<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">" </span><i>What horrifies me most is the idea of being useless: well-educated, brilliantly promising, and fading out into an indifferent middle age.</i><span style="font-size: x-large;"> "</span></blockquote>
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LilacGrace-TheNihilisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09975169238212872392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2489270106514153841.post-69158727870419929692013-05-23T11:04:00.003-07:002013-07-08T20:51:09.560-07:00Guns and Lilacs<h4>
I thought I would be crossing my fingers while typing my very first blog, in all honesty I haven't read a blog in months and at first I readily tried to recall a blogger's first post- or at the very least if there are any protocols, or customary 'rights' and 'wrongs' to starting off a blog.</h4>
Then naturally,my own personal philosophy chimed in;<br />
Hell,if there is no right or wrong way to lead one's life ,then I shouldn't be sweating it over a blog,right?<br />
That made me think ; a blog imitates life, and there goes the clich-ay saying <em>art imitates life</em>.<br />
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One's opinion,philosophy or one's blog in this case-is a mere device intended to 'sample' one's state of mind, which one could liken to a Breathalyzer Test.<i> </i>It's function is to sample one's alcohol levels and therefor,one's <b>state of mind</b>, internal functionings and judgment.<br />
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I do not have a clear and well-rounded mental picture of what I will write about but the general thesis of my blog may orbit around Pop Psychology and issues of deviance and other dimensions of non conformity (I hope so or else I would be doomed and forced to change my blog title . . .)<br />
In all honesty I am cultured in the mediocre sense,as I am still a budding traveler,academic,adult and member of society,but at least I am not a hipster.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6-thdEAg4qddOZWWM6yTTJSU8ZVyPRunPDEib1OUJpZQfesKQnyu9eyuhaRc0AgTlWBvemRiMLDxPnW3SuzZAd0or4kAGG4vHZGwijblB_x_HnMvQT9euc_8HSke6QUdJoH2cyw4-SLM6/s1600/d2e4a9074b050e1a70c1065bde39a8fd.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6-thdEAg4qddOZWWM6yTTJSU8ZVyPRunPDEib1OUJpZQfesKQnyu9eyuhaRc0AgTlWBvemRiMLDxPnW3SuzZAd0or4kAGG4vHZGwijblB_x_HnMvQT9euc_8HSke6QUdJoH2cyw4-SLM6/s1600/d2e4a9074b050e1a70c1065bde39a8fd.jpg" /></a>Whether they are complex or elementary I do not pretend to know issues, or plan on giving politically correct or fundamentally computed answers to certain issues.I just discuss snippets of topics,research, and theories are perceived by myself or effect my environment. Hence the term of the blog 'Pop Psych', I do not assume the identity of a schooled psychologist; as I am a passionate whole hearted student of psychology (along with 100,898,000 other girls my age across America) without a valid PhD,Masters or Bachelors under my belt. As much as I feel I have a certain poise for writing and studying the complex mechanics of the human psyche my liberal spirit overpowers my ability to shackle my mind,determination and motivations to my books and hence and I have been <u>rejected</u> from a university Psychology program twice. Grades too low,they say. Apply again next semester, they say. That won't keep me from writing,researching,bearing new concepts and thinking critically about topics in psychology,no academic institution can strip me of my constant hunger for the topic of the human psyche!<br />
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I would describe myself as driven by the constant and nagging need to seek novelty and new sensatio<br />
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ns,I am forever bored, forever seeking greener pastures and forever changing my goals,identity and ways to innovate my lifestyle. Whether a personality trait ,dysfunctional or low level case of ADD, I would rather avoid the need to label myself, for labeling should be kept for useless items in storage only. Although my parents deem me 'ahem..special', my grandparents deem me 'uneducated and spoiled',my bosses deem me 'unemployable' and my exes deem me 'absolutely nuts', I consider myself a dishihibited non -conforming flower child with wide eyes reflecting a colorful soul. I see the world as a living fantasy and achieve my dreams because I don't believe in dreams, I only believe in a limitless reality with no boundaries. I decided that since my philosophy dictates that I do not account to 'dreams and hopes' and I must not adhere to fussing for the future but live for today without concrete expectations. I am also met with the feeling that I must up and go - seize the moment! Clinicians call this impulsive living , if I am not mistaken .Or irresponsible living.<br />
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But to further illustrate my point with my self as the protagonist I will carry on. I was goggling pictures of the desert last July, 'how romantic is the desert' I thought, with its ruddy and rigid texture, its malevolent heat and glum cacti peppering its surfaces. I wished I was cavorting in cut off shorts among the snakes of the desert. That 's a dream,is it not? And a nagging little motor inside me was fussing, pushing me. What am I doing in this cold climate called home? Punching the clock in my stale and superficial work environment ,trapped in the prison of the four walls! I would qualify for living a meaningless existence if I dare to punch in one more day in this concrete consumerist nightmare, sitting here dreaming of the desert while I smile meekly at customers, meanwhile the digital clock laughs at me overhead . I was like a flower in a concrete prison cell, sitting on the widow ledge looking out at nature's beauty but too immobile and helplessly far to reach it. I detested the greedy and sneaky grin of my master -ie my boss- as he watered me , only sparingly giving me a glimmer of hope and only enough to survive.<br />
I booked my ticket to Nevada for the following week, this was one of the beginning phases of my flight from 'prison' and into free thinking and the active personifications of my mental philosophies. Yes- I proved to myself,you can recreate your wildest dreams,philosophies and metal imagery in the boring dullness of the rational realm- otherwise known as reality. I see myself as not only impulsive,but living spontaneously. I love that I am living closely to my animal whims and instincts, that the conformist drones who are more 'successful' than I in society's terms are much poorer than I am because all the have are tokens that represent success to OTHERS and to society. The classic trap is money , a bit rougher in texture than Kleenex and a bit more pliable than cardboard but people will spend all their lives comparing themselves to other people's cardboard stashes and never realizing that the real world is ticking away. Imagine if all you had was hours punched into the system, a nice sports car to drive around the block, and a fancy watch that ticks away the real dreams that you never lived? Imagine being that poor?<br />
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My biggest wish is to find more free souls like myself ( I say 'free' for lack of better term) to interpersonally collaborate with, people who are so shameless and unembarrassed to be ourselves that we tend to embarrass others around us in the process.<i> </i>Once united I figured we can take over the world. The truth is I am not sure if I am 'hell bent' because I am an artist or if I am missing a few bolts, but people tend to either call me <i>special ,</i> in the sense of one having a flare for uniqueness or<i> abnormal </i>in the sense that you better book an appointment with a psychiatrist<i>.</i> But I have noticed that the people most drawn to me are the ones who live in their shells,mediocre and average conforming souls,scared and anxious to be looked upon with disapproval They see me as a flirty party bag of color and tinsel and they don't understand how I cannot possibly be plagued by the need to beat my drum to the tune of the others' ,and how I glimmer with adrenaline when given the opportunity to 'live on the edge', or forging that opportunity of course because such is not always given . I will stop self analyzing before sounding too self involved as this is an issue for me , but the problem with these types of people is that rather acting as a symbiotic agent of insurgency , they are acting as an audience or rather, admirers. I should have probably stopped typing after the warning that I was inclined to sound grandiose,but carrying on...<br />
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I do,once in a dozen blue moons find a soul that is akin to mine. Nothing makes me feel more proud to be myself like finding a fellow member of the Black Sheep club, a brother in soul anarchy, a baby misfit like me! I can smell the fragrance of his eccentricity like a hound sniffing out cocaine from the new Colombian arrivals lineup. We can spot each other across the room and the bond forged is the one that stems from those lovely, 'you had me at hello...' stories. It is more often than not romantic, but friendships born from this cohesion of personalities is something that I have also experienced and never forgotten. The problem with these types of relationships is that as much as I crave them,our labile and extremist natures bring about an intense and unhealthy clashing. The initial infatuation and 'hooneymoon' stage, also pegged as idealization by the psychological community is so magical and out of the ordinary, that the eventual transition into reality and realizations of natural disappointments sometimes severs the relationship. Sometimes the relationship's rollercoaster has too sharp turns,but none the less meeting a soul akin to mine is one that leaves an imprint-or scar and reminds us that as 'unique' as we think we are, we are never really alone. But interpersonal relationships are a whole other topic and one that I have ruminated over for too long lately so I will put an end to it here.<br />
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In short,I managed to depict an otherwise sparkly and colorful image of 'me', through this micro-biography of myself, and I also managed to outline why my blog was titled 'Pop Psych and Baby Deviants', so hopefully I will also have some consistency in delivering other posts and outling other topics which are fermenting and seething in the deep fibers of my brain . In fact, I quite enjoyed this process! How utterly therapeutic.<br />
My boss once said , "I will ask you to do something before the hour is up that might be impossible for you to do,"<br />
To which I answered , "Impossible? What do you want me to do?"<br />
" To actually finish a task that I gave you."<br />
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Fueled by spite, I proved her wrong that day, and hopefully will prove her wrong again by keeping this blog going and finishing this 'task' that I have given to myself.<br />
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Until next time!<br />
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<br />LilacGrace-TheNihilisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09975169238212872392noreply@blogger.com0